I went to meet my tennis friend Sneha on a Sunday. She looked a little pre-occupied, lost in her own thoughts. . I asked her,” Whats the matter with you?” She began, ”  I am 25 years old, unmarried and I have a very worried mother. I don’t blame her, She has two daughters to wed and the eldest won is too stubborn for her liking. We had a ground breaking fight a month back and  I  cracked a deal. The middle path. I get to pursue my game  only if I agree to register myself on a matrimony site of my mothers liking.  I don’t like to see Aai  worried and unhappy. She is my weakest link. I agreed to it. I understand my mothers part of the argument, it’s her birth right to worry about my marriage and I let her do it.”

   I realized  that matrimonial sites happen to be a great hit. According to the  matrimonial site, Sneha is registered to, there are 4000 Marathi  men currently who want to get married. I find that pretty surprising. When it comes to the virtual world there are 4000 men who want to get married and in the real world there are actually relatively few. Why do these sites get such a  great response? I guess its because we live in busy times, we prefer a friends birthday party rather than a relative’s house warming party. We are too busy with our own lives and problems. Given the amount of divorces happening around every year, our well wishers and relatives  tend to be weary of suggesting bride and grooms to each other. I mean who will take the risk and the blame? Also it is the Internet revolution, you can get anything from a pair of chaddis to a would be life partner, quite literally.

 Sneha continued, ” I know  these sites are doing a great service to the nation and mankind in all. Although they really lack originality. They are a total copy of Facebook. I mean if Mark Zuckerberg decides to sue them I will be on his side. Just like there is ‘send a friend quest’ button on Facebook, there is ‘ I am interested in marrying you button’ on the site. You can chat, send each other messages and the bonus is your parents will approve of the amount of time you spend on it, unlike Facebook.”

 I laughed at her frustration and said,” I personally really don’t have a problem with  people who go for an arranged marriage. I know of a lot of couples who are perfectly happy and in love, and you might find a really nice guy, you never know. A very wise woman told me once, ” Aditi, it really doesn’t  matter if it’s a love or an arranged marriage, once you get married and start living with a man in the same house, there are a lot of adjustments to be made, and just because you know him before marriage you might think you have an advantage but let me tell you, you really don’t. All of us are on the same boat, be it a love or a arranged marriage.”

Sneha sipped her coffee, “You know me Aditi. I love to fall in love and any which way I am quite a flop on the website.  My mother  has send across at least 10 requests to men on an average and I have got just about, 5, ” I am interested in marrying you requests” all rejected by my mother, fortunately even before they reached me. Out of the 10 men, 5 have not responded, the other ten have rejected me by saying,

” How can someone reject you even before meeting you? That’s plain unfair. I mean if I was a man I would marry you after our first coffee.” I replied.

Sneha laughed, ”   I actually jump with joy at the rejections. I mean what  am I supposed to say when I meet a completely alien guy.How exactly am I supposed to start the conversation,” XYZ, my mother thinks I should marry you?”, give me a break.”  I laughed so hard I spilt my coffee and then made some serious analysis,  “Sneha, our profile is a little too different. Everything said and done you are a sportsperson. We are not a sporting nation. We don’t understand what it takes to play a sport for your country. People still don’t understand that being a sportsperson is not a hobby, its just like pursuing a engineer’s degree, may be even tougher. People have too many misconceptions and they are hypocrites. They will applaud your achievement but they will prefer their friends son marries you rather than their own. You don’t deserve them. I will find you a good guy. Don’t you worry.”  She replied,” I am not worried, not even close. I don’t owe anybody an explanation as to why I chose to be a tennis player, and not a doctor. I mean is a doctor asked why didn’t she become a sportsperson.” We raised our cups for a toast on that.

I personally find these sites absolutely unfair.  I mean how can you judge a person on the colour of his skin, his height, how many flats he own, his education or salary. I mean a man with a Harvard degree and a penthouse could make a very bad husband and a painter who earns  ten thousand bucks every month could be a classic husband.  I find it very strange when men and women reject each other just on material grounds or physical appearance.What about the heart, what lies inside? I find it amusing and rude to reject a guy because he doesn’t have hair on his head or a flat in Pune. Needless to say I am not a fan of these sites.

Sneha continued,” I  just sometimes want to tell all the lakhs of men and women on these sites , don’t let a website decide your worth. Be proud if your dark,be proud if you are fair,  be happy if you are 5.3 feet tall, be happy if you are 6 feet tall. Be proud if you are a doctor and even prouder if you are a sportsperson.”

“The truth as I and even my mother knows  very well is this, I will marry a man I love and I will marry only when I’m absolutely convinced about it. It really doesn’t matter if I am 26 or 31.  I mean to get married because the society around us has set a certain parameter on marriage, I think is pretty stupid.”

“Sneha I have no doubts in my mind that you will fall in love with a great guy. After a while the great guy will go down on his knees, with complete confusion and fear in his mind and say, “You complete me. Will you marry me?” and you will say, ” Shut up just shut up, you had me at hello!”  and you, him and your worried mother will live happily ever after!”

“Amen to that” , said Sneha!

 Its so true, lots can happen over a cup of coffee.