The two things that I am especially fond of are the clothes and the food. A marriage is a heavenly place as far as clothes are concerned. Men sadly don’t have too many options here. There is either a sherwani or a suit, once in a while a dhoti and thats about it. For women though its so many things. Sarees are a personal favourite. A saree is really the sexiest garment in my wardrobe. The blouses the women wear today are so bloody hot. My friend recently got herself a sleeveless blouse and came home. She wore it and showed it to her grandmother. This is what she said, ” WHAT! This is it! Where is the blouse? There is just one strap at the back. Give me rest of the cloth I can make two hand bags out of it.” Ya, ya! the cuts are getting deeper and the backs are much more visible. Women are just killing it! The food of course is always and will always be the most important thing in a wedding. This is what most of us actually attend a wedding for, at least I do. The typical Maharashtrian food is always a hit, while the way Punjabis make their food is a different thing all together. There is no shortage of love. Huge amounts of ghee,oil,spices and masala, is poured into the food and thats how they shower their love on you. 

Out of all the weddings I have attended ,three of them were unforgettable. The first one was that of my best friend. She is a Kokani who fell in love with a Marwari. My friend learned to speak Marwari fluently, she gave up everything non-vegeterian (she loves fish) and she wore a 20KG ghagra just so that she doesn’t seem a misfit. She did all this not with a feeling of sacrifice ,but love for her man.When I saw her on the stage doing her solo number on ‘Sawar Loon’ in her sangeet, wearing a ghagra weighing 20 kgs and loads of make up I felt my throat choking and out came big tears.  She looked so beautiful and just so happy. I had never seen her smile so widely. It is something I will always remember. The second one was a Punjabi wedding. Everyone from the 17 year olds to the 70 year olds were drunk and dancing like there was no tomorrow. The DJ had to play the song ‘Sadi Gali’ a record 29 times in succession because one uncle wanted to dance on it. After playing it for the third time the DJ tried to change the song and out came the gun. The uncle threatened him and the DJ played the song till uncle passed out. It was hilarious! I will never miss a Punjabi wedding,ever!The third one was an extremely sophisticated and stylish wedding in Bombay. The best part about it was that 2 of the 4 functions had a venue with the sea view. The food ranged from Indian to Lebanese and it was delicious. The clothes wear to die for. There were women wearing creations of Manish Malhotra and Tarun Tilhani. It was an experience. Though having a wedding next to the sea is a big distraction, I must say. I spent a lot of time watching the sea rather than all the beautiful people around me. 

In all these weddings I always have to answer the big question, “When are you getting married?” to which of course I never have a solid answer. Depending on who is asking me I range the duration. For the elderly, end of the year. For the kaka-kakus, next year and for friends, when I am in love. When people are not satisfied with the answer comes the next question, ” What do you want in a guy?”. I really do believe that humans out of all the species have absolutely no idea about what they want. We always set goals, we achieve tham then we set another goal. There is no end to wanting.We  constantly want something that we don’t have. Satisfaction is not something that is easily attainable. 

So, what do I want in a guy? It’s pretty simple actually well at least in my head. Passion for life, a dream, a good heart and unending love .  I have never cared about material things. I never will. Money has never impressed me. It has never been the driving force in anything I do. When I recently went out with a guy on a date arranged by my parents it was interesting. We sat down and started chatting. He gave me his definition of a marriage. ” See, you put your good cards on the table and I put mine. We both see if we like the cards and if the majority of the cards look good enough we sign the contract of marriage. Marriage is a business deal really. You see the pros and cons and you sign or don’t sign.” I was never good at playing cards. I suddenly started feeling like I am in a corporate meeting and I should have worn a tie and a suit. When I asked him if love wasn’t important? “Love will happen eventually. If I have a car,a house and a lakh in salary, you will start loving me.Love is secondary.” At this my face must have looked like he had asked me to pronounce , ‘Jokulsargljufur’ (it’s a place in Iceland), correctly. So he asked for the bill. I of course didn’t sign the contract.

Till I get good at playing cards I will enjoy the weddings and answer THE question the best way possible. So if you have a wedding invitation do send me one. I am an excellent guest. I will dance, I will sing and I will distribute sweets to all the guests with a smile on my face and will only eat the sweet, when only one is left on that plate. That is all that I charge!