Finale..The GerWomania Diary ends…

I am on the Turkish airline flight which takes me home.  There is  a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment. This trip was everything I hoped it to be. The great places I saw, the nice people I met and how I broke some personal barriers. Sailee and chinmay were the perfect host. They gave me a place to stay, planned the whole trip and made me some awesome food.  Also the superb debate on India and it’s problem with implementation of policies which lasted for almost three hours was super fun, it was me and Sailee vs Chinmay. By the end of it we were absolutely brain fried. It is important to have people with different opinions, life would be so boring without that.

I am also pretty happy about the fact that this trip was completely self sponsored.  I have been on a pay roll since the age of 16 and have been financially independent, since then. I still remember my BPCL interview, I and Saina were interviewed on the same day in Mumbai by Prakash Sir(Padukone)  and our BPCL boss. I was nervous but pretty sure of getting in.  I did!

This trip was to break free. I had a really bad year last year. I had four injuries back to back and most of them just when I felt pretty good physically. To say the least it broke me down. I am playing badminton for the last  15 years, it is all I knew and it is just not easy to give up something you lived for just like that in a flash. Badminton was my only romance. So I kept at it, in my typical style. I worked harder and harder but nothing worked. When I look back I know I have done pretty good things in my career, but I always felt that if I wasn’t unlucky with injuries I would have done more. Last three years  I was just hoping that if I just get 8months in the circuit which were injury free I could have achieved my one final goal, though that didn’t happen.

In a situation like this I didnt know one exact  right way to deal with it. Like always I went on my instincts and took a decision. Early this year I decided to change tracks. I told myself that I would study something, anything and keep practicing without a goal or tournament in mind. Slowly as I started studying and became a student again I realised I was not bad at all.  I would sincerely mail answers to my professors after every class and I think I have already improved. I realised that badminton doesn’t have to be the only thing that defines me. There is so much to do and if I give things a try I could be good at anything. Slowly the broken pieces of my heart started coming together. I was definitely happier and I also realised that with no goal in mind my practice sessions also improved.

This trip was like a gift to myself. I went through crap last year but I managed to stand up again. It’s still a very long road ahead but at least I had the courage and wisdom to accept certain things and still move on in the most positive way forward. This trip also made me realise that travelling for me is like being home. I am very comfortable with different kinds of people, and I can have fun and be happy in any kind of situation.

I’m young and I am  done with my first road trip.  There is sense of satisfaction and makes me realise that I must have done something right to afford it. Though I’m grateful, I am not satisfied. This is just the beginning and there are many expensive things still left to do. I know I have to work much harder as I explore new territories, because in the outside world me being a badminton player doesn’t exactly count.I will have to start from scratch.  Badminton has  made me who I am. It has shown me almost every emotion there is! Any which way I have still not exactly given up on it. You never know what life has in store for you! Though I just know this ,badminton or no badminton I am still capable of doing good things.

I am going to end the GerWomania Diary  with these lines…

Peron ki bediyaan, khabon ko bandhe nahi re, kabhi nahi re,
Meeti ki parton  ko nanhe se ankur bhi chire dheere dheere,
Iraade hare hare jinke sino mien ghar karen, woh dil ki sune , karen, na dare na dare

subhaki kirno ko roke woh salaakhen hai kahaan, jo khayaalon pe perhen dale woh aankhen hain kahan,
Par khulne ki deri hai parinde udke chulenge aasma aasma aasma,

Aazadiyaan aazadiyaan!

(these lines are good so they are definitely not by me.. )

Dream big! Live your life to the fullest and as Po ( from kungfu panda), says, “There is no secret ingredient ,all you need to do is BELIEVE!!!!”

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